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What is bullying?
Bullying can mean many different things, below are some of the ways children and young people have described bullying:
* Being called names
* Being teased
* Being pushed or pulled about
* Being hit or attacked
* Having your bag or other possessions taken and thrown around
* Having rumours spread about you
* Being ignored or left out
* Being forced to hand over money or possessions.
* Being attacked because of your religion or colour Why do some people bully?
People become bullies for lots of reasons:
They may have family problems
They may be being bullied themselves
They may be selfish or spoiled and always want to get their own way
They may have no friends and feel lonely
They may feel bad about themselves and want to make others feel bad too
They may be taking their own frustrations out on others
They may feel insecure and unimportant and feel that bullying gives them power
They might want to look big in front of others
They may have been bullied into joining a bully gang and have gone along with things to keep on the good side of other bullies
They don’t understand how bad their victims feel. Whatever the reason bullying is usually a signal that the bully needs some help. The bully will always be able to find something about the person to focus on. It may be what they are wearing, something about their physical appearance “big ears” or being in a wheelchair, being good at exams, too fat, too thin, too creative, being the “wrong” colour or wearing the “wrong” clothes. Bullying can happen at school in the playground, in the classroom or in the toilets.
It can happen on the way to or from school, on the bus or in the park. Bullying isn't’t just part of growing up. You don’t have to put up with it. What does it feel like to be bullied?
Bullying hurts. It makes you scared and upset and can make you so worried that you can’t work well at school. Some children and young people start to skip school to get away from the bullies. It can make you feel that you are no good or that there is something wrong with you. Bullies can also make you feel that it is your fault! How to stop the bullying
If you are being bullied, you can do something about it. Do not feel that you have to put up with it, you can make a difference.
Tell someone right away
Practice what you want to say first if you have difficulty talking about it
Keep a diary of what is happening
Don’t give up!
Ask your parents to visit the school
Talk over what to do with a friend, a teacher, you mum or dad or someone you trust.
Remember teachers have to listen carefully to you if you tell them you are being bullied.
Remember – it’s right to tell that you are being bullied and to ask for help. You don’t however have to let them take over, you might want to talk to them about what you would like to happen. Helping a friend
Maybe you are not being bullied yourself but you are aware of someone else who is, maybe you have stood around and watched but weren't’t sure what, if anything you could do?
Don’t ignore bullying. You can help. Don’t let the bullies get away with it by thinking that no one will do anything.
Here are a few things you can do, and a couple that you can’t:
* Don’t rush over and take them on – it might not be safe for you and you don’t want others to think that you too are a bully.
* Let a teacher or another adult know what is happening
* Try to be a friend to the person who is being bullied
* Refuse to join in
* Try to be friendly to the bully even though you can’t be friends being kind can sometimes help the bully to stop bullying.
* Sometimes you can’t sort it out by yourself so ask for help from other adults, e.g. parents, teachers or someone else you can trust. Your school can help
Your school should be clearly saying NO to bullying and should have a anti-bullying policy. Why do some people bully?
People become bullies for lots of different reasons:
* They may have family problems
* Maybe they are being bullied themselves
* They may be selfish or always want to get their own way
* Sometimes they have no friends and feel lonely
* They may feel bad about themselves and want others to feel bad too
* They might be taking their own frustrations out on others
* Maybe they have been bullied into joining a gang of other bullies and have gone along with them to keep on their good side.
* They don’t understand how bad victims feel Whatever the cause, bullying is usually a signal that the bully needs some help! Bullies will usually use differences as an excuse for their bad behaviour. These “differences” however are not what causes the problem it is the bullies who have the problem because they are either: afraid, jealous, cruel, envious, angry, insecure or unhappy for some reason. Are someone who bullies others people? Most people will have bullied someone at some point in their lives and usually feel sorry about it afterwards and try not to do it again. However, if you are constantly picking on others and you don’t care how angry or upset you make them feel then you have got a problem. This can be hard for someone to admit and fact up to but we all have to face up to what we do and how we make others feel.
No one really likes bullies. If you want to be liked for yourself, then you should try to change the way you treat other people. Bullies might frighten people into being nice to them but it isn’t real friendship and underneath it all bullies are usually lonely and unhappy.
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